It's just hard...

The comparison trap...

It's just hard... I want to have this "I can't wait to workout" attitude, but some days I don't know how I'm going to fit it in? I would like to breeze through T25 or run 7 miles at an 8 minute pace, or eat a whole pizza and not feel sick. Or devour a whole pint (gallon) of coffee ice cream and still fit in my jeans:) or make it through the day and have the laundry all washed and folded, dinner made, homework done, and quietly sit around and play a family board game with no fighting finished by the family rosary where we all are focused and reverent...

(Can you hear the violin?)

I see my husband power through 10 Miles as I struggle to make 3... And I want to quite. Because sometimes it's just hard! I see friends talk so patiently and lovingly to their children and I think " man I need to be more like that!"

But I am learning...

And in learning something new...a new hurdle to jump, a new fear to face, a new habit to form...we need an approach...

Virtue is a habitual disposition to do the good ( I see the theology degree is helping me a bit here!)

Here are a few that I am currently working on...

Discipline 

To discipline is not to hammer with insults to motivate change, it's not to set strict rules that are impossible to keep. It's not to beat yourself up when you fall. 

Discipline is to teach, to learn. I can't just naturally go out and run a half marathon at a 9 minute pace. I need to train I need to learn. I need to reach out and ask for help.

I can't say I will never eat ice cream or take a pill to make me not want it or worse eat diet ice cream in large quantities because that's so much better!

 But I can teach myself to eat what my body really needs. 

Identify that sometimes my craving is more emotional than physical. And I can slow down and enjoy my treat guilt free because I am embracing and learning the virtue of moderation. 

I can't look at a number or the scale, or the size on a pant and measure my worth based on how it fits... Nor can I let those thoughts of comparison with other women motivate me to exercise or eat... Because that is objectifying them, and devaluing me. 

But I can embrace who I am, where I am and recognize where I've been, and where I would like to be... And ask for guidance to learn how to reach my goals without verbally abusing myself in my head. Or physically through what I put in my body. This is the virtue of Temperance.  

And I can try to do this in just 30 days, like the magazine says when it flashes an airbrushed picture of some celebrity smiling because they dropped 10 dress sizes in one week. Or I can push that lie to the side and embrace patience, because what I gain internally as I learn, and work, and pray is far greater than what I lose on the outside. When you take your time...The external changes are a greater indication of the internal victory going on. 

It's hard, but it's worth it. It takes time. And we all fall. But we were made for community. We were made to lift one another. Disciple one another. Surrendering to the Creator, embracing where we are, and asking for the grace to form the virtue. 

Today I am praying for patience, with myself, with my children, with my husband, with the world. 

There is however an amazing Detox program called Grace...it costs nothing...and your commitment is baby steps...get up when you fall, be open about your heart, and be ready to be filled, and leave your expectations at the door... Because what The Lord has planned is far greater. 

So I challenge you to write down some goals, wrote down your excuses.... And identify what you need to detox from. 

Reach out for accountability. And start taking those baby steps. Pray for the Grace... There is a hand waiting to hold yours as you step out and seek freedom & truth!