Letting go...

I want control... 

I want my 3 year old to say " yes mommy" and sit quietly through church along with my other 5 ducklings in the pew...

I want the urge to scream to slowly boil down into a Mary Poppins tone where I lovingly teach my children the proper way to keep their stuff off the floor...

I want to look at that bag of chips at 12 am  and say no... Or just one please and feel satisfied... 

I want to have a clean and orderly home with healthy and respectful children and smile when my husband comes home and laugh about his day and mine...

I want to not have the urge at hobby lobby and target and pottery barn and anthropologie to have everything in the store...

I want to be satisfied... And non of these things alone will...and no my days are not pure chaos (close sometimes) and no, things are not bad, food is not bad, even strong emotions are not bad...

But at the root it's not about that. It's about security that this world cannot offer... We are made for more... We need to believe that and live like it!

I want to have peace about my children and the struggles they face in school, sports, and life. 

I want peace, patience, joy...you know all those gifts of the Holy Spirit that I need to unwrap....

I want to be in control... And the more I try, the more I lose...

So I'm starting over. I am making a plan. I am letting to...

Daily I am making a morning offering to surrender control, to tell God what I am clinching to, to lay it down, to slowly walk away from it....

And I thought I would offer this to you as a challenge...join me...